Running the 16th Street Mall Instance.

The 16th Street Mall is a level 20 – 35 instance in Denver in Colorado.

The 16th Street Mall is in the center of Denver and runs between the Broadway bus station and Union Station. The route is traversed by free shuttle service that you can board. The shuttles stop at the end of every block. You cannot exit the shuttles while they are in motion. The shuttles are neither heated or cooled, well they might be but it never seems to matter anyway. If you are not interested in running the lunch gauntlet the shuttles are a much safer option.

Creatures of the 16th Street Mall.

Business people – neutral

Tourists – neutral

Homeless – aggressive

Political activists – aggressive

Environmental activists – aggressive

Religious missionaries – aggressive

16th Street Mall guards dress in bright yellow, they can assist you if you get lost. If it is raining they look like Gorton’s Fishermen – friendly

Any of the above can be drunk, drunk business people and tourists can be aggressive. In nearly 6 years of daily runs I have yet to encounter a drunken religious missionary but I am thinking it is only a matter of time before I am confronted by one. The mall guards and police do NOT protect you.

The most common encounter is the homeless panhandler. Now I am a compassionate soul and I would like to help out whoever I can but I cannot just hand out cash to 10 to 20 people per block. Unfortunately I have resorted to not carrying any cash. It is not that there are homeless people and they are asking for money, it is the shear amount of them. I would love to help and I do. Just about every block has at least one person selling “The Voice” you can give them a dollar and it goes to their homeless support group. But once again because there is one on every street corner it is just too much.

Political activists – these people come and go. They are usually young, well dressed and carrying a clipboard. The clipboard will contain petitions for various political special interest groups. They are looking for registered voters. I will sign just about anything so it gets put on the local ballot, but going through weeks of being asked to sign it again and again and again. I live outside of Denver County so that can sometimes spare me any long encounters. Fall seems to be the primary season for the politicos.

Environmental activists – this is mostly Greenpeace hippies who have decided to camp out on the mall for the past 2 years. You can spot them by their greasy hair, sometimes dreadlocks, dirty green jackets and the smell. Their calls ring out. “spare a moment to save the planet!”. “Do you like trees?”. “Is the environment important to you?” One of their more nasty tactics is to get you to shake their hand. This death grip cannot be broken and will be the death of you. Never ever take a suddenly pro offered hand by a mob in a dirty green jacket holding a clipboard.

Religious missionaries – ok these can be stationary or patrol along the mall. Some people call them bible thumpers. They spit and froth at the mouth about God and Jesus and how we will all burn in hell if we do not follow their particular flavor of Christianity. Others are quite, well dress and hand out copies of The Watchtower, they are easily avoided. Once again they can also employ a death grip just like the environmental activists. Most are loud but pretty harmless.

The benefits of enduring a walk down the 16th Street Mall is that there are some pretty good places to eat, from restaurants to gourmet food carts and trucks. I think there are about 10 Starbucks locations. The journey is hard but the noms be good.

If you want a real challenge you can unlock a heroic 16th Street Mall run by making the trip with a lit cigarette in your hand. This will increase homeless encounters by about 50% as they ask not only for money but for a smoke as well. Expect a 10% reduction in environmental activist encounters.

Good luck out there!


About ikcewicasa

Ikcewicasa means common man in Lakota. I guess that describes me. I am turning 40 next year. I have a college degree and I have a professional job. The blog is just random stuff. I try and keep most of my posts humorous in nature sprinkled with a bit of American Indian items, soundtracks (which I love), food (something I also love) and movies (when I have the money and time to go see them. so basically ramblings that rattle around in my mind. Hope you enjoy. Like what you read? comment and re post. don't like what you read, let me know as well. ALL STORIES ON THIS SITE ARE ABSOLUTELY TRUE... EXCEPT THE PARTS I MAKE UP!
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4 Responses to Running the 16th Street Mall Instance.

  1. Bru says:

    Ha ha, this sounds EXACTLY like downtown Santa Cruz when I lived there in the early ’90s. You literally could not walk two blocks without getting panhandled at least four times. I used to just ignore them and keep walking. It’s the only way.

    The only people I ever gave money to were street performers. Once there was this group from South America performing native music. I liked them so much I bought a tape. And the bagpipe guy–I always put change in his case. I love the pipes. 🙂

  2. ikcewicasa says:

    we have a south american guy that shows up every summer, and a bagpiper as well.

    we also have this old guy on a hover round thing that sells cd’s of really old music performed on a recorder. For the real awesome street performers you have to go to the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder.

  3. Arlee Bird says:

    I’m game for this excursion, but I’ll have to get to Denver some day to do it. I’m pretty good about shutting out people when I’m not interested in them and they generally tend to ignore me. I’d probably get into some discussions with some if I wasn’t doing anything else and my wife wasn’t with me. She hates it when I start debating with people.

    Tossing It Out

  4. james26354 says:

    LOL Sounds like the underground train station at Hollywood Boulevard at 8am.

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