My Money is Better than Your Money

I am going to talk about money, exchange rates, marine mammals and exotic dancers. Yes I can weave that all together in one coherent post and if not I am going to give it a good try. A dollar here in the US is not worth the same as a dollar in our good northern friends Canada. I will get to the actual physical currency later on but the last time I was in Canada a Canadian dollar was worth about 63 cents in American currency. I say about because this was a long time ago and I am not sure what the exact exchange rate was that day.

Many years ago I took a very fast boat from Seattle WA to Victoria City BC. Unfortunately I was alone but I had a fantastic time. High tea at the Empress Hotel was nice and produced only a mild sense of cultural stress. I found that I really do like English tea; it is a far cry from the American herbal teas I had grown up with. The worst part about it was that I had no one to share it with. I must take Jonette up there with me some time.

After high tea I took a bus tour of the city, lots of nice flowers and gardens people of Victoria should be proud. At one point the bus stopped at a marina and we were given a half hour or so to walk around. The marina office had a sign out front

“SEAL FOOD 1 DOLLAR”

Excellent, I have never fed seals before. I walk in, ask for seal food, and put an American dollar down on the counter. Feeding seals was worth a dollar, hell I probably would have paid five dollars. The cashier took the dollar and then made a big show of counting out 37 cents in change. I said “No don’t bother just take the dollar.” That was not going to happen; she absolutely had to give me the 37 cents and the plastic bag full of fish chunks. I then proceeded to the end of the dock and spent the next few minutes throwing chunks of fish at marine mammals. Surprisingly no one else on the tour had any interest in the activity. From the oversized condition of the handful of seals it appears that the lack of interest by my particular tour was not shared by others. The seals were happy and well fed.

On my return home the port had a basket asking passengers returning to the United States to put in their Canadian coins. The spare change would go to help needy Canadian children. My 37 cents jingled merrily as I tossed it into the basket. If it cannot be used for feed seals it might as well go to helping children so it was all good.

I do not think Canadians have paper dollars, they have a dollar coin. The coin is embossed with a loon. A loon is a water bird that looks like a large duck. They are black and white and have evil red eyes. Other than the eyes the other interesting thing about loons is their call.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/13/Loons.ogg

Because the loon is on the Canadian dollar coin they affectionately call it the “Loonie”.

The dollar coin does not have a high acceptance here in the United States. The Susan B Anthony dollar from about 30 years ago was a disaster, as was the more recent Sacajawea gold colored coin. The US Treasury has enhanced the Sacajawea dollar with special edition coins representing Indian events on the reverse side. They have also recently started a presidential series of golden dollar coins. Each release will be graced with a different president. None of these coins has been widely accepted by citizens. Although just a couple weeks ago I unloaded a few of them at Sonic and the cashier was very excited to receive them. “Oh I love these” I guess she is one of the few.

I have a theory as to why dollar coins are not being accepted by the American citizens, and it all boils down to exotic dancers. It is very easy to stick a dollar in the g-string of a stripper. It is not so easy with a coin and having exotic dancers wear change machines or pouches for tips is not very sexy and let’s face it in strip joints sexy is what everyone wants. Plus coins are heavy no one wants extra weight on some poor soul trying to do a pole dance it messes up their balance.

I guess here in the good old U S of A we are stuck with paper money unless someone discovers a way to implant magnetic strip readers into exotic dancers. That way you can just swipe your credit or debit card and payment becomes that much easier. Where to install the card readers? Well that is easy, just swipe the card through the butt crack and you are good to go.

Ah technology.

About ikcewicasa

Ikcewicasa means common man in Lakota. I guess that describes me. I am turning 40 next year. I have a college degree and I have a professional job. The blog is just random stuff. I try and keep most of my posts humorous in nature sprinkled with a bit of American Indian items, soundtracks (which I love), food (something I also love) and movies (when I have the money and time to go see them. so basically ramblings that rattle around in my mind. Hope you enjoy. Like what you read? comment and re post. don't like what you read, let me know as well. ALL STORIES ON THIS SITE ARE ABSOLUTELY TRUE... EXCEPT THE PARTS I MAKE UP!
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5 Responses to My Money is Better than Your Money

  1. Rukia says:

    I enjoyed this very much although there may be a drawback to the location of the card readers. What if the card smells afterwards? o.0

  2. james26354 says:

    Strippers in Canada probably don’t except a single dollar. Good for them, they deserve more than that anyway.

    • Mom says:

      Once again I am so impressed with your creativity and writing ability. Didn’t get those skills from me. You amaze me and I am so proud of your talent. Write more often. Love you, Mom

  3. Bwaa ha ha ha!!! Butt crack card reader!

    I love the sound the loons make, although I might not if I lived near a big lake and they did it all the time. But they’re kinda neat birds.

  4. Bambi says:

    Ummm…you should listen to your mother…..you need to write more and even….dare I say it…..publish a BOOK!!! I’d buy one!

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